


Time stand still

by RemyLeBeau



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Wolverine and the X-Men (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Angst, Dissociation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Telepathy, gambit is an empath, mention of suicide, no one dies permanently i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 21:46:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18269906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemyLeBeau/pseuds/RemyLeBeau
Summary: Peter is rescued by the X-Men after being held captive for a whole month. Wade hurries to Westchester, but the young man he’s about to face after weeks of searches and dead ends may be more troubled than he first thought.





	Time stand still

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place at the Jean Grey’s School for Higher Learning, so consider the school’s students and staff to be the same as in “Wolverine and the X-Men”. 
> 
> The title is from the lyrics of “Sleepwalking” by Bring Me The Horizon.
> 
> Have fun!

Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” rang from Wade’s cell phone. The man sighed and put the katana he was cleaning by his side. _‘Damn, I thought I’d made myself clear about already having a membership to Spidey’s fan club.’_

“ _Satan awaits you’_ funeral house, how can I assist you today?” Wade answered the phone with his best receptionist voice.

“Where you at, Wade?” He heard Logan’s voice from the other end of the line.

“ _Wolvie_! I’m home. Not _home_ home, I’m at my house in California.” The merc started excitedly. He heard a growl from the other side, so he continued.

“Why? Wanna come by for Netflix and cuddle? I’m in the middle of something right now, but for you I can stop it anytime. You can bring that hot black and red eyed boyfriend of yours and we’ll...”

“Shut up, Wilson. Look...” Logan’s tone was serious, but he didn’t manage to finish the sentence.

“What’s wrong, Wolvie? You still mad about me hacking your Tumblr account? ‘Cause I already told you that ‘ilovegambit’ was a _terrible_ password and...”

“We found Peter.” Logan’s voice was low but clear. He then waited for a reply, but no sound came from the phone other than Deadpool’s breathing, that being Logan’s only evidence that the merc was still listening. So he tried again.

“He’s... not so well, Wade.”

Deadpool jumped out of his seat into a stiff position at the sound of those words. He took a moment to register the meaning of what he’d just heard, speechless at the sudden desperation growing at the bottom of his stomach.

“Wade? ...You with me?”

Wade knew it was Logan’s voice he was hearing, but he’d never heard the usually grumpy feral sound so cautious, and the note of worry he caught in Wolverine’s voice was enough to wake the astonished man from his paralysis.

“Where is he?” The question came out as a low groan, result of the growing lump in his throat.

“We brought him to the School. Hank’s taking care of him.” There was a pause from both ends of the line.

Wade was already gathering his weapons into his Hello Kitty backpack and looking for his suit.

“Who did it?” Logan could feel the anger and determination that filled Wade’s voice when the question was delivered.

“ _No way_ , Wilson. You should get here and...”

“ _Who took him_ , Logan? Answer me before I send Scott those pics of you.” Wade demanded, his voice high pitched.

He had stopped looking for the bits of his suit scattered around the house and Logan felt the fear and blind rage that filled the other man’s words as he expected an answer.

Logan took a deep breath and tried to control his impulse of starting an argument with the merc.

“Wade, try and listen to me for a moment.” He started, trying to sound calm. “Peter needs you right now. Don’t think I won’t let you go after whoever did this, but _now is not the time_.” He paused and let the words sink in. There was no reply, so he continued.

“Look, Hank’s taking good care of him, and he’s gonna be okay, but SHIELD ain’t happy ‘bout how we dealt with the situation, they wanna get him outta here to some place official or whatever, so _get your ass over here_ before they start asking him questions, for _fuck’s sake_.” Logan finished and waited for a few seconds before he heard the reply.

“I’m on my way.”

Before Wolverine could say anything else, Wade had hung up and was already gone.

 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

 

‘ _Shit, shit, shit, shit’_ was all Wade could think during most of the flight to Westchester.

He couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being the one who found Peter.

By now the young man would probably be awake and wondering why Wade didn’t care enough to be there for him. The image of a bunch of SHIELD agents wearing suits surrounding Peter’s hospital bed while asking too many questions had Wade’s hands strongly clawing on his thighs.

If his anxiety wasn’t enough, he wasn’t sure he could make through the rest of the flight without ripping his face off. Or at least the stupid realistic rubber mask he had to use every time he boarded a plane. It was so itchy he wondered if it wouldn’t have been better if he’d just managed to fit inside someone’s luggage. He didn’t regret having taken the job that got him into the ‘no flight list’, though.

He remembered Peter’s face the first time he’d seen the man wearing the mask. They were going on a trip to Canada and taking a plane was inevitable. The fact that Wade used a fake I.D. as his documentation came as no surprise to Peter, but a _realistic rubber mask_? That must have made his day at least a thousand times better, because throughout the whole flight he did not stop joking about how Wade looked like an “australian surfer”, which also lead to the great idea of taking Wade to the beach later that year and begging him to accompany Peter through surfing lessons. It had been a complete disaster, of course, especially considering that Wade refused to take off his suit and insisted on wearing it even while attempting to stand on the surfboard.

Wade felt his chest tighten at the memory. _Fuck_ , his last month had been a complete downfall. All the sleeping issues he used to have before Peter started sleeping by his side came back ten times worse, but now alongside with very detailed nightmares depicting the worst possible torture scenarios: he saw Peter screaming and begging at the hands of villains, government agencies, rapists, mad scientists.

During one of those nightmares, Wade found himself as the torturer, cutting through Peter’s skin while he screamed for him to stop. It had felt so real, and Wade could not control his movements, he kept on torturing Peter until the boy passed out on the table he was tied to. That night, Wade had woken up so desperate for it to stop that he instinctively pulled the gun he kept on the nightstand and shot himself in the head.

‘ _Fuck it.’_ He took off the stupid mask and dumped it in his bag. ‘ _It’s not like they’re going to drop me from the sky mid flight.’_

He stared back with a provocative grin at each weird stare he got from the other passengers. Once he was satisfied with the level of uneasiness he was causing, he put on his Deadpool mask and proceeded to wonder what he was going to tell Peter when he finally got to the mansion.

 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

 

_Peter had been drifting._

_He was aware of voices. Indistinct voices. He couldn’t focus long enough to grasp meaning out of them._

_Some voices were calm and soothing. Some were desperate screams. Others were just sobs. Peter wasn’t sure who they belonged to, or even if they belonged to himself._

_Every time he let himself fall a bit deeper into unconsciousness, he would see flashes of the nightmares._

_Nightmares that haunted him for what seemed like ages. Nightmares of him waking up to Wade’s voice._

_It was always Wade’s voice._

_Telling him he was safe. That he’d be okay and no one would hurt him._

_That it was just a dream._

_Then he’d open his eyes to see that he was indeed safe. He was on their bed. Wade was right there beside him, smiling. They were together. No one could hurt them._

_They were safe._

_Until they weren’t anymore._

_Until Peter felt Wade’s blood all over him. Until he saw confusion in Wade’s eyes. Eyes that suddenly turned unfocused._

_Dead._

_Peter would then kill whoever had dared to hurt Wade._

_Peter was against killing._

_But he killed them anyway._

_He punched them until they weren’t responding anymore. Then he kept punching until punching wasn’t enough and he smashed their heads against the floor._

_Again and again._

_Until there was too much blood flowing through the cracked skull on the wooden floor._

_Until blood wasn’t flowing anymore._

_He’d then wait for Wade to wake up._

_Why wasn’t he waking up? Why wasn’t the bullet hole in his forehead healing? Why were his eyes still unfocused? It was taking too long._

_There were screams. Peter’s screams. Wade wasn’t breathing. So Peter couldn’t breathe. He could only scream. So he did._

_He’d then wake up to Wade’s voice._

_Wade had come to rescue him. They were getting out of there, it wasn’t real. Nothing had been real, it was all a mind game. He was okay._

_They were okay._

_It was just a nightmare. Until it wasn’t anymore. Until Wade died. Again and again. But never healed. Never came back. And Peter couldn’t wake up. Why couldn’t he wake up? Why was he having the same nightmares over and over again?_

_Was it really a nightmare? Or was it a memory? He couldn’t tell._

_He could only scream._

 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

 

No mental scenario Wade pictured on his way to Westchester prepared him for the reception he got when he arrived at the School.

He had his complete suit on, his pink Hello Kitty backpack on one hand and a bouquet of red and blue flowers with a “Get Well Soon!” card on the other.

He walked straight to the front door, knowing it would be unlocked due to the school activities. He hoped the telepaths in the house would’ve felt his presence by then, even though they wouldn’t have been able to read his mind.

He went through the door and was surprised when he got interrupted by Iceman, who was clearly unaware of his visit.

“Hey! _Stop right there_! I can’t let you in just like that.” The mutant jumped from the chair on which he had been sitting for his shift of guard duty. He clearly recognized the mercenary’s suit and approached carefully, his body language indicating he was ready to engage in combat if necessary.

Wade was halfway through the big hall when he stopped and turned to face the x-man.

“Whaddup, Elsa? I know you’d love to stop me from my happily ever after, but let me tell you, I’m not much of a princess kind of guy, but I’m sure you’ll eventually find...”

“ _Oh! My! Fucking! God_! Oh my God! I can’t believe it, you’re Deadpool!”

Both of them turned to watch as a pink haired boy excitedly ran down the stairs while staring wide-eyed at Wade. “I’m like your _biggest_ fan, can I have your autograph? Better yet, let’s take a selfie! Damn, Scott’s gonna be _so pissed_ when he sees you at Wolverine’s school!”

“Quire, aren’t you supposed to be in class right now?” Iceman started, but as soon as he took a step forward he realized he was unable to advance any further due to a telepathic wall the kid had built around him.

“Quentin Quire, if you don’t get me out _this instant_ I swear I’ll get Wolverine to...” He continued with his threats, but now the telepathic wall was also soundproof, so his voice was muffled and indistinct.

“Don’t mind him.” The boy with pink hair turned back to Wade with a big smile. “Now, please tell me you’re here for a rescue mission.” He looked at Deadpool expectantly, but continued when the merc just stared back. “C’mon, you _do know_ who I am, right?”

“You’re... _Hmm_... A very stylish student?” Wade tried, grinning at the shirt that had ‘Wake me when the humans are dead’ written in red capital letters.

“ _No_!” The kid’s face showed a disappointed frown. “C’mon, I’m Kid Omega, man! And I’m _not_ a student! I’m here against my will for Wolverine’s ‘protect the kids’ agenda, I’m a _political prisoner_! You _have_ to help me get the hell out of here, we can be partners and take over...”

The kid’s babbling stopped when a louder thud came from Iceman, the mutant now trying to break the wall by throwing ice stakes at it. The commotion was starting to draw the attention of other students, whose heads were starting to pop out of the many doors that lead to the main hall.

“Hold on! If Flamingo boy here is Kid _Omega_...” Wade dropped the Hello Kitty backpack on the floor so he could point at Quentin, getting the attention of everyone in the room, suddenly silent in expectation. Deadpool narrowed his eyes and his gaze went to the other students present. “Then who’s his Kid _Alpha_?”

 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

 

At the MedLab, Remy LeBeau was sitting by Peter’s bed and trying to focus on the emotions the young man was streaming in his sleep, sending comforting waves whenever his anxiety began to increase. The task was quickly draining the mutant’s energy, and he could feel sweat dripping from his face from the effort.

Gambit was not used to being needed as an empath, and connecting with Peter’s emotions meant he had to put down his mental shields, which allowed him to feel not only what Peter was feeling, but also made him catch the emotions of everyone else in the mansion, whether he wanted to or not.

“Logan, something’s happening in the main hall, can you check that up for me?” Remy asked, frustrated on how _loud_ teenagers could be about their feelings.

Logan had been standing by the door exhaling concern towards the cajun for the last hour. That wasn’t exactly helping Remy to focus, but he appreciated Logan’s comforting presence.

“ _Hum_...” Wolverine turned to the hallway and sniffed the air, sending Remy a sense of relief and recognition as he caught a familiar scent and left for the main hall.

The slender red on black eyed mutant turned his attention back to the man sleeping before him.

Logan had not been very happy about Remy connecting to Peter’s feelings at first, worried that such exposure would bring back memories from the empath’s past. Still, Remy had insisted on trying to help.

He had seen the state the boy was in when he’d first woken up, and the glimpse of panic his empathy had caught through his shields had been enough to convince Remy that the kid was way more troubled than any of them had first thought.

That, along with Peter’s reaction to Rachel’s telepathy when she had tried to reach out to him, gave Remy the evidence to suspect the responsible for Peter’s distress had used telepathy to mess with his mind.

The cajun still had vivid nightmares about the time he had spent under Essex’s mind torments when he was young and desperate to figure out a way to control his powers, so he couldn’t help but relate to what Peter was going though.

 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

 

_When Peter woke up, something had changed. He wasn’t on his bed. He wasn’t tied to a table either. And it wasn’t Wade’s voice that’d woken him up._

_In fact, Wade wasn’t there at all._

_What did that mean? Had Wade already been killed before he could try to warn him? Where was he? Who were these people surrounding him? Why weren’t they trying to kill him? Where was Wade?_

_He needed to get to Wade. To warn him. He couldn’t let him die. Not again. He would fight whoever he needed to in order to find him._

_But there was something wrong with him. He felt… weird._

_He sat on the bed and tried to get up, but he was nauseated by the sudden movement. The room was spinning and hands were over him, lying him down and holding him against the bed._

_There were voices telling him something, but he didn’t know what._

_There were people around him, someone holding him down, but he didn’t know who._

_All he knew was Wade wasn’t there. And he had to find him. No matter what._

_So he screamed and kicked and punched. He struggled against strong hands. But he felt… weak. Too weak. Nothing like before. He felt like he wouldn’t be able to kill anyone with his bare hands._

_Something was wrong._

_Then he felt it. A small tingling sensation at the back of his eyes. A sensation he knew all too well. He knew exactly what it meant. What would follow. Who he’d see dying right in front of him. Again._

_No. He couldn’t go back there._

_Not again._

_Everything was blurry. He could feel tears running down his face and hear himself sobbing and begging._

_He stopped struggling and the hands let him go._

_His stomach was turning. He smelled vomit._

_Had he puked?_

_There was nothing holding him down anymore. He didn’t try to get up again. Instead, he felt himself drifting away from consciousness and into a restless sleep._

 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

 

Peter was suddenly aware of another presence. Not an invasive one, though. Not anyone trying to get inside his head. Just something… _soothing_.

 _Calm_.

He could _feel it_ there. Just kind of... floating around. _Waiting_. Getting closer each time he started to feel anxious. Not controlling him, just… reassuring. _Comforting._ So he focused on that presence. He let it - whatever it was - engulf him and lead him away from the painful nightmares and into a calm state of sleep.

 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

 

“What do you mean, you _don’t get it_?” Wade asked, looking for some sign of understanding from the students, but only got confused looks and another muffled scream from behind the telepathic wall, from which Bobby had gone complete Iceman, his body covered in ice and exhaling white smoke whenever he attempted on breaking the wall.

Wade could not help but imagine that if that wall was even slightly physical, he would be able to draw on it with the steam from the difference in temperature. ‘ _Maybe then I could use it as a board to lecture these kids about good humor_ ’, he thought.

“What do you mutant kids even _do_ on the internet nowadays? I can’t believe I just wasted that _ass-pectacular_ pun on a bunch of...” Deadpool trailed on, but stopped when he noticed the bystanders’ focus shifting to a point behind him.

At the top of the stairwell stood Wolverine, clearly unamused by the scene he had just walked into. The school director had his arms crossed and jaw clenched, and Wade was pretty sure that it was taking all of the feral’s will to keep himself from going on a killing spree around his own school.

The room was suddenly dead silent and the students were stiffened by the director’s severe gaze upon them.

All it took to break the kids’ astonishment was for Logan to open his mouth in order to speak. Before he said anything, the students were already darting away from the hall and back into the rooms they had come from.

“Not you, Quire!” Wolverine made his voice resonate through the room, what made the remaining students fasten their pace and the pink haired boy stop in his tracks and turn to the director with a sheepish grin.

“Wait for me in my office.” Logan ordered, his tone threatening and final, and Wade was amazed at how the kid’s challenging posture suddenly turned into a slouch while he left the room after directing a frown at Iceman, who had been released from the mental trap.

‘ _Well, at least now we know the alpha is no kid…’_ Wade thought, but waited until he was alone with the two older mutants to speak. “Mark me down as scared _and_ horny, I would never imagine that sweet cajun was into _that_ kind of dominance!”

“C’mon, I’ll take you to the lab...” Logan said in a serious tone, choosing to ignore the merc’s teasing and turning to lead the way without a second glance back.

Wade followed Logan through the maze of corridors without paying any attention to where he was being taken or to the many stares they were getting from mutant kids that crossed their path. His attention was fully directed to Wolverine’s narrative.

“We’ve been tracking the Hellfire Club for a while now, and Kilgore’s transactions lead us to an underground facility that was operating in an old deactivated SHIELD installation...” Logan started when they had reached a more deserted corridor where the students wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop.

“What the actual shit! Kilgore? _Kill-gore_? That must be the coolest name ever! Where can I find that guy?” Wade interrupted excitedly.

“That _guy_ is a 12 year old murderer and leader of the organization that took Peter.” Logan paused and looked in Wade’s direction, continuing after he was sure he had the mercenary’s full attention once again. “Kilgore had a whole operation of experiments with mutants going on, along with a project of using these same mutants as weapons for the pro-human movement.” Wade could sense the sting of anger rising in the feral’s voice, which stopped the merc from replying.

Logan waited until they reached the entrance of the MedLab to turn and face Wade. “I called Cap and he got SHIELD to stand down for now, so Peter’s clear to stay here until he fully recovers.” Wolverine took a few breaths before he continued. “I must warn you, Wade. I don’t know what _exactly_ they did to him, but I’m pretty sure it had something to do with getting information on the Avengers’ plans. Peter’s not... physically harmed, but he is malnourished and...” Logan stopped and gazed Wade worriedly, waiting for a sign to continue, but the merc only stared back at him impatiently.

“Besides that...” Logan finally continued. “Well, he was unconscious when we got to him, so he must have been pretty confused when he woke up here... He panicked and tried to fight us. When we tried to get him to calm down he kept on saying we were not real and... Well, he was pretty shaken.”

Wade had never seen the feral stutter this much in his life, which only made him more anxious to enter the room. He took a step forward and made to reach for the doorknob, but was stopped by Logan, who put a hand on the merc’s shoulder.

“What I’m tryin’ to say here is...” Wolverine tried again, directly facing Deadpool. “Remy says it was probably a telepath who had him, so... don’t freak out if he’s confused or acting weird, we’ll figure out a way to help him, okay?”

The two men exchanged a look and Wade nodded, taking a deep breath and opening the door while Logan stepped back and let the merc lead the way into the Lab.

The first person Wade noticed when he entered the room was not Peter. It was Remy. The cajun was sitting on a chair by Peter’s bed, and didn’t waste more than two seconds looking at Wade when the merc entered the room. He focused back on Peter, and so did Wade.

The young man was asleep and Wade did his best to walk silently to the bed. With each step he could absorb more details about Peter.

Contrary to what he’d pictured, the boy was not in a white hospital gown, nor was he tied to a multitude of wires. Peter was wearing a blue sweatshirt with the school’s logo and was covered with a white blanket from the waist down.

There was no beeping to indicate his heart rate. The only sound Wade heard while approaching the hospital bed was Logan’s not so smooth steps beside him.

They stopped by the bed and Wade took a deep breath, realizing he hadn’t been breathing since he entered the room. He accompanied the slow rise and fall of Peter’s chest, trying to sync his breathing with the boy’s.

Wade focused on Peter’s face. It was pale and the merc didn’t fail to notice how the man’s cheekbones, once fluffy and pink, were now prominent and colorless. He had clearly lost weight, and there were dark bags under his eyes.

Wade felt a hand touch his shoulder.

“I assume you’re staying with ‘im?” Logan asked, but didn’t wait for a reply to the obvious question. When Wade turned to face him, the feral was already turning to Remy. “You okay there, Rems?”

“Yeah, fine.” Remy replied with a little smile. Wade noticed the cajun sounded tired, but didn’t dwell on the though for too long.

He got his attention back to Peter’s delicate features and to the way his hair touched his forehead. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, and Wade could only smile in relief as the man lying before him didn’t appear to be harmed in any physical way, nothing like in the terrible nightmares Wade had been having for the past month.

“Okay, let me know if you guys need anything.” Logan stated while walking out of the room and closing the door.

Wade sat on a chair by the bed, noticing he’d forgotten his backpack somewhere along the way when he had nowhere to put his mask and gloves after taking them out. He left them on a little table by the bed along with the bouquet.

He reached Peter’s hand and caressed it slowly, closing his eyes and feeling how the smoothness of the boy’s hand contrasted with the roughness of his own. He froze for a moment, unsure if the touch would wake Peter up or disturb him somehow.

“It’s okay, Hank gave him something to help him sleep.” Remy’s chair was on the opposite side of the bed, right in front of Wade’s. The cajun’s slight slouch didn’t shift as he delivered the information, but his red on black eyes focused on the man sitting across from him.

Remy’s expression couldn’t be farther from what Wade had grown used to expect. There was no provocative grin, no raised eyebrow. His long brown hair, instead of trailing the man’s cheekbones and resting smoothly on his shoulders, was casually tied in a low ponytail, revealing the sweat on his temples.

“You okay?” Wade took a moment to look - _really_ look - at Remy, who clearly wasn’t going to leave Peter’s side anytime soon.

“Yeah” Remy leaned back on the chair, sighing and giving a little smile. “It’s just… I gotta put my shields down if I wanna connect or project anything. Let’s just say people’s feelings can get a bit too loud, especially at a school full of mutant teenagers.” They both smiled at that and Wade got his attention back to Peter.

Deadpool was grateful to know the empath was somehow helping the young man, especially when he could see how peaceful he looked in his sleep, but Wade couldn’t help but worry when he wondered what Peter would say if he knew someone was messing with his mind… again, apparently.

“So you’re like… controlling his emotions or something?” Wade tried not to sound rude, but he wasn’t sure if he succeeded when Remy furrowed his brows before answering.

“ … Or _something_ , yes.” The cajun hesitated before elaborating, looking into Wade’s eyes. “Wade, look, I’m not… _forcing_ anything. Not like a telepath would put words or images in your mind, y’know? It’s… _different_ , more like…” He stopped and let out an irritated growl, taking a moment to look back at Peter.

Wade smiled at Remy’s frustration and relaxed a little, remembering how he trusted that cajun and mind slapping himself for probably having been transmitting a sense of suspicion and distrust towards him.

“Sorry.” It was almost a whisper, and Remy dismissed it with a wave of his hand. The empath took a deep breath before looking back at Wade.

“I could _show you_ , if you want.” Wade froze for a moment, considering the offer. He would have _never_ conceived a situation that involved Remy offering to connect emotions.

And he _had_ tried asking that of him before. More than once.

Wade had never seen Remy use his empathy powers, not even when they used to work underground theft jobs back in the day. He wouldn’t use his empathy or let his charm loose even when they were in deep trouble and could _really_ use the help.

Most people didn’t even _know_ the cajun was an empath, and Wade knew it was somewhat a delicate subject because of Remy’s reaction when the merc would casually ask if he could use it on him after he’d had a panic attack or couldn’t sleep. He’d never told Remy the reasons behind those requests, though.

“Who the fuck are you, what have you done to the real Remy LeBeau, and who do I have to fuck to never get him back again?” Wade sounded amused. “Anyways, wouldn’t that drain your _so_ _mysterious_ emo mojo or something?”

And just like that they were both laughing together again. “Yeah, probably.” Remy replied.

“Some other time, then.” Wade smiled and dismissed the offer. It was somehow satisfying to see his old friend offering that, though. He appeared to be more comfortable with the idea of using his empathy. ‘ _At least one of us is dealing with our issues.’_

They stayed like that for hours, enjoying each other’s company in comfortable silence or doing small talk and catching up with each other’s activities. Sometimes Logan would casually enter the room to check on Remy and bring him coffee.

It was almost midnight when he felt Peter’s hand flinch to his touch. Wade froze and pulled his hands slowly away from the other man’s, careful not to startle him.

The merc noticed Remy was sitting in an upright position, mirroring Wade’s posture. They exchanged understanding looks, both alert and focused on Peter.

When the young man finally woke up and blinked slowly, confused eyes trying to focus on the ceiling, Wade didn’t try to hold back the wave of relief and fondness that rushed through his body from seeing those familiar hazel eyes.

He took a shaky breath and smiled, feeling tears building up in his eyes.

“Hey, baby boy.” He tried, hearing his own voice falter mid sentence.

Peter jumped at the words, and then stared wide-eyed at Wade, his whole body rigid except for his lips, that were slightly shaking.

 

 

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 

 

Peter had no idea of what was going on.

Where was he? What had happened? How did he get here?

He blinked and tried to make sense of the blurred lights on top of him.

He couldn’t remember anything clearly. He knew he was somehow supposed to be remembering something important.

 _He had to warn Wade_.

Warn him of… of _what_?

He struggled to find the memories, but his mind was hazy. _Shit,_ had he taken something? Had he been _drugged_?

Then he heard it. Wade’s voice.

_It was always Wade’s voice._

He sat abruptly on the bed, turning to the source of the sound and freezing when panic started to build up inside his chest.

He tried to say something, _anything_ , but he was overwhelmed by the sudden flood of memories, stunned by the realization.

_Wade._

_Wade was there by his side._

_He’d have to watch Wade die. Again. And he wouldn’t be able to do anything. Again._

He stared into Wade’s eyes. The man was smiling at him, and crying. Peter knew he was saying something, he could _hear_ it, but the words didn’t make any sense.

He could also feel the comforting presence there, _anchoring_ him to reality, but he couldn’t focus on that right now. He didn’t _want_ to focus on that right now.

He felt a familiar hand touch his shoulder and saw Wade furrowing his brows.

And then it hit him. _Guilt._

He was looking at the face of the man he loved, the one he’d do anything to protect. And yet he’d _hurt_ him. Had disappointed him. Had been unable to protect him.

Wade had been there for him all this time, he’d comforted him and told him he was safe. But it wasn’t Peter who had been in danger or needed protection. It was Wade.

And Peter had let him die over and over again.

He couldn’t move. Couldn’t warn Wade. He felt tears running down his cheeks and heard sobbing.

He could see Wade right there in front of him, frowning. Desperate. Saying something. _Begging Peter for something._ He delicately shook Peter by the shoulders, urging him to respond. Was he screaming?

_Was Wade screaming at him?_

“ _Wade…”_ Peter tried, but wasn’t sure if any sound had come out of his mouth. His sight was darkening and his head was throbbing.

Suddenly hands were no longer touching him and in his view, Wade was replaced by someone else.

Everything was blurred and spinning, and Peter could catch glimpses of another man trying to get his attention, then sighing and furrowing his brows in a focused expression.

Then he felt it. Stronger than ever.

The calming presence was all around him, reaching out to him, trying to resist his panic and fright.

So Peter just let it have him. Surrendered to it without a fight. Because he knew he couldn’t win that fight. He didn’t _want_ to fight it.

“... hear me?” The words were starting to make sense, and Peter heard bits of sentences that were said in a slow but eager tone. “...need you to _breathe_.”

Peter gasped for air, realizing he hadn’t been breathing. He looked around, panting, as the shapes started to get into focus.

He saw Wade’s frightened stare, but his attention was taken back to the other man as he laid a hand on Peter’s shoulder.

“Hey, look at me!” And so Peter observed red and black eyes, feeling his heart racing and his whole body shaking.

“Can you hear me?”

Peter nodded, blinking.

“Okay, I need you to listen carefully to me, can you do that?”

Peter nodded again, grateful for the simple instructions he could focus on.

“Good. I know it may be hard for you to believe it right now, but I _need you to try_.” And with that, Peter felt a wave of reassurance and comfort. Yeah, he _could_ try to do that.

“You are _safe_ here. No one's gonna hurt you. It’s _over_ now.” The man watched him closely as Peter stared back at him, confused, and then looked at Wade, who smiled weakly and nodded. He turned back to the man in front of him as panic started to build up inside him again.

“But Wade… I have to…” Peter whimpered weakly. He knew _he_ was safe. Of course _he_ was safe. It was _Wade_ he couldn’t let down again.

“Hey, look at me. _Breath.”_

So Peter breathed.

“Listen, what you are remembering… it was _not real_. They kidnapped you and whatever it is they made you see, it’s _not gonna happen_ here. We _rescued_ you, you’re _safe_...” And Peter _knew_ he could trust him on that, he could _feel_ the honesty poured into those words. The man hesitated before finishing. “... Wade’s _not_ gonna hurt you.”

Peter frowned at that and watched as Wade took a step back, stunned by the words, his expression horrified by the realization of their meaning.

“ _No, it’s not like that!_ ” Peter’s voice was weak but he managed to get the words out, moving away from the hand on his shoulder and finding no resistance from the man in front of him, who pulled away instantly.

Peter saw Wade staring at him, unshed tears adding a set of glossy eyes to the mix of worry and guilt in his expression.

 _No, he couldn’t stand seeing Wade like that_. It was like letting him down all over again.

He felt himself mirroring Wade’s expression as the man’s figure became blurred by the tears building up in his own eyes.

Peter jumped from the bed abruptly. No one tried to stop him this time, so he managed to take two steps towards Wade before collapsing, his legs weakening to the sudden loss of balance.

Before the boy could understand what was happening, Wade had already closed the distance between them and caught Peter mid fall.

Familiar strong hands held and steadied him, offering support as he stood up.

Peter blinked and watched his hands grasping at Wade’s chest. He observed the red fabric of Deadpool’s suit, slowly lifting his gaze through the exposed scarred neck to stop at intense blue eyes, that looked back at him with caution.

“I’m sorry, I’m …” Wade started, and Peter’s chest tightened at the hurt his voice was filled with. “I’d _never_ do anything to hurt…”

“Wade, _shut up._ ” He couldn’t let Wade blame himself for that. “I’m _sorry, I’m so sorry_ ” Peter let himself fall forward into the bigger man’s embrace, letting his shaking body be held as he sobbed into Wade’s chest.

“ _They… they killed you…”_ Peter heard himself saying desperately, unable to stop the flow of words coming out of his mouth. “ _... and I couldn’t stop it… I’m so sorry… Shit, I killed people… I didn’t mean…”_

He knew he was not sounding coherent, but he kept on letting himself cry it away until he could only feel Wade’s body holding him. Wade’s hands stroking his hair. Wade’s voice whispering in his ears, telling him they were okay. They were safe. No one would hurt them.

“ _I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Wade, I’m so sorry… I should have… I couldn’t…”_ Wade’s embrace felt so _real_ , so _close_ , it was like they were merging into one being, and Peter wished he could die with Wade this time, so neither of them would be alone.

By the time he stopped crying and looked into Wade’s eyes, he noticed Wade must’ve lead him back to the bed, since they were both sitting on it, side by side, Peter almost curled on Wade’s lap.

His breathing was unsteady but he _could_ breathe.

He wasn’t sure how long they’d stayed there, holding each other, but he couldn’t find the dark-eyed man anywhere in the room, so he assumed it had been a while.

Peter smiled and felt Wade’s hands on his face, wiping some remaining tears. He let himself forget everything else and focus on that single moment, relief and joy engulfing him as he traced each feature of Wade’s face with his fingers, wishing that moment would last forever.

At some point, their foreheads were touching and Peter closed his eyes, trying to hold onto the feeling for as long as possible, ignoring the stalking sensation at the back of his mind that told him that the moment was lasting more than it should, that he’d lose Wade anytime then, just when he was starting to believe that maybe they _could_ actually stay together a bit longer.

“I’m not going anywhere, okay?” Wade asked, pulling back just enough to look him in the eyes. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

Peter knew Wade _believed_ that. _Fuck_ , he’d said that before and Peter had believed him every time. Because he _wanted_ to believe him.

And even though he _knew_ he would soon be disappointed, even though he had absolutely no reason to delude himself and suffer even more afterwards, he _still wanted_ to believe it. Because he trusted Wade and he always would.

“Okay…” He wasn’t sure his tone was convincing.

“How ‘bout I prove it to you? You’ll see I mean it.” Wade grinned at that, his confidence showing in his expression. “I love you, baby boy.”

So Peter let himself have hope, even if he knew it wouldn’t last long. He let himself ignore the part of him screaming that he shouldn’t be falling for that again. He let himself surrender completely to that moment, to Wade’s touch, to Wade’s words and promises. He smiled at him.

“Love you too, Wade.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> The references to Remy and Wade’s friendship are mainly inspired by the events of “Deadpool v. Gambit”.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it, please leave a comment to let me know what you think! (⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)
> 
> Oh you can find me on Tumblr (lead-the-fight), but beware i’m currently reblogging The Umbrella Academy content non stop (◐‿◑)


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